Young lady implies a certain amount of disrespect, that's undeniable, if you disagree then Google it. Before taking legal steps against your workplace superior, explore the option of dialogue. I'm so curious and I bet it would feel amazing. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Perhaps not in my lifetime especially if the abuse keeps up, but it will change!! Good leaders do not need to threaten. Genius move- I still want to give their children to wolves to be raised in a more respectful home setting. you shouldnt get outraged over something that isnt even a clear insult. So, basically when someone calls you something that makes you feel bad, take it as a compliment. And then roll on, correct as many times as needed, he already said HE thinks it's a compliment, so the assumption is you could take it LIKE a compliment which is, uh. Because if you be mean to him you will get fired, nobody will put their ass on the line to protect you if you offend their boss; that would be suicide on their part, you would be fired easily. (The initial just because my reproductive organs are on the inside line in the first episode stands as one of the cringiest of the 90s but she does have a ton of great clap backs over the series! (3) Sensationnel Synthetic African Collection Braids - Braid Out 12". OP discussed how this has been an ongoing problem. that's not what is happening here. Babe, you know you can get yo-self a wig? It feels so nice when men notice things like mansplaining without you needing to tell them. Does he know you by name? To view or add a comment, sign in. ", Or "how you doing Bud?". Still weird. Yesterday a new visit and he greeted me with y l. I replied Hello Young Man. just say are to going to keep calling me kiddo until im 50. Kind of cute, isnt it? Claudette Colbert (/ k o l b r / kohl-BAIR; born milie Claudette Chauchoin; September 13, 1903 - July 30, 1996) was an American actress.Colbert began her career in Broadway productions during the late 1920s and progressed to films with the advent of talking pictures.Initially associated with Paramount Pictures, she gradually shifted to working as an actress free of the studio system. At 27yo being called something like "sir" or "maam" would have upset me a lot lol. She had me sit in the chair closest to her in her office and she shut the door. Yeah, this is disgusting. I will be turning 70 in a month. He respects the shit out of me, and I him. Im 52, and I cringe every time I get called young lady, and whats odd is that its coming from middle-aged men. But as a 26 year old among people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, I personally would like to be taken a little more seriously. I (35f) don't like to live in the country of my partner Im a freshman (F19). But then I also can tell them my awe and appreciation for it. Weve chosen to acknowledge our age rather than deny it, believing it to be a healthier and happier way to inhabit our later years. Hes 30 years older than me and I know its a term of endearment coming from him. Im a well educated woman with a lot of life experience the sort of life experiences that have people commenting I should write a book when they hear it and when an older man (or woman) refers to me as young lady I take it as its meant to be a compliment. Do you look young? In passing, saying "you got it, boss man," or "boss lady wants it like this," suggests that the person considers you to be annoying, pushy, or bossy. It is not meant as a slur or derision. Its always fine to correct him though. I enjoy having nice hair, obvously, but the hair touchers come out of woodwork, trying to run their fingers or play with or even braid my hair and shit. There are better ways to ask, if he was just curious, why she's leaving early. And since when did this become a conversation about having to like work? I identify as agender but I am also super feminist because I have experienced so much bullshit misogyny and if they mean no harm I let it slide but most times this shit is a power play and I hate it so much. I decided to speak to him about it and explain my position. (OP, does it?) I found out later, my manager actually has a daughter the exact same age as me! My FEMALE dentist called YL I get called young man, asked if I'm old enough to be doing this, and mildly sexually harassed by older patients. I was saying that everyone has names that they would prefer not to be called. Well done. whether you know it or not, people have a nickname for you. I'm 32. Completely awful in your situation though. Off topic, but . The same happens to blond people when they visit remote villages in Africa, kids want to touch it because it's so unusual to them. I am a Southerner and a lot of people say its just part of our culture. No mercy for american dogs of war, murderers of children. 1 INT. Get over it and remember your femininity! That shit is crazy. Honestly, I cant understand anyone wanting to touch anyones hair, or touch a stranger in general. What the actual.?? And obviously the industry does fuck all to address the issue. My nearly 60 year old boss calls me young man all the time idk what you're on about We're children. Its is disrespectful to me. You are a woman/lady and, relative to someone in their late 50s or early 60s (im picking that age because thats how I picture of the president of a company). People will start calling you madam. (Here's my take on it .) what about your boss calls you a slave and your black and he is white? Not even in the same county.) I'm sorry you're not. Like he still has seniority over you, why you felt the need to make it into an issue is beyond me. Ive been doing this for 13 years. Youre being overly sensitive. idk though, I'm a man and I hate having a boss, they always act like they bought you outright and you owe them. If you said old fart in response and got fired you'd have killer ground for sexual harassment and retaliation. Typically I ignore these subtle biased . Just going with the flow and getting over issues is how problems dont get solved and animosity builds. lol. Ill let it bother me for that amount and then I force myself to let it go. I work in IT and spend my days taking calls to unlock people's accounts. That shit will stop immediately. Embrace the fact that when youre in your 90s & hunched over from the weight of the world being on your shoulders, the career behind you & you hear young lady you still have all your teeth & can laugh about it. Nobody is going to value your time the way you want them to, at least no "boss", and maybe you experience more of that as a woman but I would be pissed about any little comments like that. This happened to me. Love your blog! It isnt. Im sorry, but kiddo is not professional at all and if the OP doesnt feel comfortable being called that, she has every right to bring that up (politely, of course). I dont think its any different than other nicknames in the same category sport, champ, chief, etc. When dealing with emotionally stable adults, I beleive that the person insulted in the ultimate delineator of whether the comment or nickname is insulting. Some people have poor boundaries, I suppose. I prefer to think young as well, dont walk around with a bag full of pills. The last sign your boss doesn't respect you is that he or she thinks nothing of disrupting your personal life, like another boss of mine who told me two days before Christmas to schedule an. I'm a pilot, I'm the most senior pilot at my base, I'm a captain, I've been doing this job for 3.5 years, I'm the only pilot they have who they let fly single pilot, I've handled major emergencies, emails have been sent to the entire company about how well I've done my job, I have worked on weekends for this company, I've flown through the night for them, I'm darn good at my job, I'm the pilot in command of a fucking airplane, and I'm a 27 year old woman. Respect boundaries, even though it's only meant well. "And don't call me Shirley!" I am also guilty of calling a younger, female subordinate kiddo and honestly, never considered the potential offense the individual may take to this term. Not sure how to say this, but I think context matters. Male obviously. Not the point, but to a dad, one's daughter is to some extent always "young lady". I was in a dental office this morning and the dental assistant, who looks to be no older than 25, called me young lady (Im 63 with a full head of white hair that I love.) Does he know your name? What he saw? Its diminishing and therefore rude and discounting. We are professionals. Other. Now Im 40 and have gone through 5 years of treatment for chronic cancer, I finally look older and dont get this anymore. If he called someone else young man its a non-issue. However, simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that aren't very serious do not violate ADEA. I was thinking of blond hair that shines like gold in the sun. I'm white with long, straight, what people describe as "pantene hair." She knows exactly what she wants out of her present, her future, her relationships, and all of her goals. but he does not know who you really are so just drop it, Or next time introduce your self. You know its a shame feminism has become so arrogant & those who preach it so ignorant and I say this as a fourth generation feminist whose great-grandmother was in the 1st wave & built herself up from uneducated & poor to educated multiple propery landowner on her own hook that a compliment isnt a compliment. Jason Corvo Fox-Grey But to continue to hear young lady as a compliment as the decades go by is to deny the fact that we are no longer young, and internalized ageism takes root in that denial. Because adults have real problems. Same goes for islander folk, which I have the blood of. Im 63, nobody called me young lady when I was young and I certainly dont appreciate it now when Im so obviously not. he should be calling you captain because no doubt he refers to your male coworkers like that damn im sorry OP, for the situation and my initial reaction to your post. Thats incredibly demeaning. LOL I feel this. Just roll with it. Nothing, just told him we were leaving early. It is positive acknowledgment. But I guess it doesnt really merit me saying anything to him unless other people start to discount the work that Im doing. In trying to be insulting, you took a lot out of context and put words in that I never said. I realize Im pretty late to the party, but heres my 2 cents. Some of them identify the speaker without fail. You could try to talk to your boss about it in a non-confrontational way, if you think that's worth attempting? Especially when touching someone's hair is actually a pretty intimate thing to do. I changed dentist when she called me Young Lady every visit. Like imagine youre from a planet that is an utopia and so acting this way is just very very strange. Young lady?! Wait what? I am 54, and 10-20 times/day since I turned 50, in hospitals, at work, in restaurants, at bookstores everywhere I get not only young ladied but also Dear, My Dear, Dearie, Sweetie, Sweetheart, Doll, Cookie, Cupcake, Huns, Honey, Love, Lovey, My Love, Darling and weirdly enough Liking someone's mannerisms: Infatuation is often closely linked with body language. . The next day I called the standards office and made a complaint. I bet you look absolutely fantastic. But if you were in a pilot's uniform, and he knows enough about pilots to be able to recognize your rank, then I would agree this is out of line. The only time I would agree with the OP is if everyone in the office had a nickname. Good day. They're independent events, and being mad won't fix it. I can't think of a time where I saw anyone, male or female, referred to as anything but their rank, name, or the generic 'shipmate.'. If anything, I will get that much more credit for doing work that others are happy with. I just said I suggest you come up with a more appropriate way to address me. Whats with these guys? Its possible the person just calls people young lady/man unless youve seen him call others captain the same age? I used to work with a guy (not my boss) who called me Kiddo. I just do not understand how anyone can talk to a co-worker or client like that. Today we were given the okay to leave our home base early, and as I was walking to the plane the president of the company was going by and he stopped and said "where are you going young lady". So today I just had enough so I "good boy'd" him back when he dropped off my materials. He didnt stop, so every time he said Little girl I would respond with Little boy. He did not like being disrespected by a young black woman calling him a boy. My actual parents backed me up, thankfully. If everyone at work calls you Robert or Mr. I'd say you have that, so use your current position to hone those skills, become more specialized, and then look for a better job where you leverage for more freedom or more money. And yeah, I've only had it coming from those above me a few times, not who I want to work for. Shop my squad calls me boss lady stickers created by independent artists from around the globe. It's demeaning af (it's a term used from slavery) and generally means the same thing but is way more of a loaded term and holds more cultura and historical l significance than I can explain. Maybe I am missing something here, but I have been called young man when working for this old man from Scotland and never thought of it as demeaning or had ill intent. Why would red hair feel any different than any other shade? "Why? Well, much to my surprise, my brand new 'do was met with vile contempt from my then boss. The difference is that I would NEVER actually touch anyone's hair, or ask to touch anyone's hair. And if making a post brings some awareness then good. In that case, the nickname is more a symptom of a larger problem, and its the larger problem that you should address. Idk. Theres a new guy that pumps gas at our local gas station. I think it could be him mis-speaking, or being too familiar. Especially if you're in trouble. But yeah I didn't go around touching them.. The language in the OP doesnt remind me of military unit structure. You must really be fun to work with then. $125.99 $229.99. Only a rotten old fart would get bent out of shape about being called an old fart. We welcome anyone seeking advice of a non-professional nature. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Alyssa Jayne Milano (born December 19, 1972) is an American actress. Otherwise, that plane would sit unused until she showed up for work. What do you think a lady is the local street walker? I wouldnt stress about it. Thats the professional response. Know who you are! Every manager who has ever done that has been a jerk for some odd reason. Yes I live in the first world, all my problems are first world problems. Although I am also a white lady, I keep my goddamn hands to myself so the impulse entirely baffles me. which is demeaning, because it doesn't acknowledge their seniority or the self-agency that role allows her. Oops, the person you were talking to must have walked away. And yes, it might depend on the context, whether youre being talked down to in other ways. He's old and a man, should I have called him an old man? However, this guy has not only called me YL twice, last time he washed my side mirrors and asked me if I could see the dino in the mirror. As for my dad, he just says it because he went to basic in the south and they drilled all of that southern mannerism into people and it just stuck some 50 odd years later. But just to get things out in the open, I was wondering why you call me kiddo? And people really just have to respect that - its kinda just a universally accepted rule. Yeah AF guy here. He seems like a sexist creep. This one sounds endearing which is fine if it doesnt cross over to your boss introducing you to other employees who may not understand the relationship and may take it to mean he doesnt care enough to even mention you by name. Im good with MAm Mam is respectful, appropriate anywhere!! I cannot imagine a scenario in the workplace where I would address anyone as young lady or young man. Just because he does doesnt mean that she has to like it. It's worse when it's coming from your own company though. Legal or medical advice is not permitted, and neither is advice on ways to get your partner to do something sexual that they're not interested in. Note that the employer has to be aware of the illegal conduct, or reasonably should have been aware of it to be held responsible. I used to work with a woman who could not stand to be called a gal. If he can call you a diminutive (young lady) you're allowed to respond. If she were called Toots, Sweetie, or Sugar, she may have a gripe. his children aged 3 and 5). But somehow Im not allowed to interrupt someones conversation and say well, wait a minuet older gentleman., Im going to use older gentleman next time my 70+ boss calls me young man, thanks. Second only to addressing the child by their full name. Full disclosure - I am a cisgender woman who was radicalized as a leftist feminist in grade school in the 70's (by radical Catholic school nuns who also did service work in South America, by the way). At least how I read the post. Rock and roll. Chances are that your boss is infatuated with you if you have very good mannerism and this is something which he finds very endearing. You sometimes make me feel that you are some prince from some fairytale, and I am having a beautiful dream. Excellent point. Does it degrade or harm me in any way to be the recipient of them in this case, which is totally devoid of denigration or sexual harrassment? Yeah older women call me young man all the time because well compared to them, its what I am. Wasn't sure how to respond. Would they be snippy if they were men? We live in a damn patriarchy. Check below and correct me if Im missing something .. The extraordinary conclusion that there is nothing racial in calling black men boy was reached in two earlier decisions by panels that involved Carnes and two other white men on the court, Judges Joel F. Dubina, also from Alabama, and Stanley Marcus of Florida., It's typically used by parents to reprimand their children, when they want to emphasise the gravity of the misdemeanor. Who ever said you had to like work? we shouldnt automatically invalidate her perspective cause we havent lived that life. . How do you not see that? I definitely understand the imbalance in terms of gender roles so thank you for clarifying that for me. I even think curiosity about new and different experiences (e.g. I sincerely think its because I am his daughters age. Otherwise, if you have a good rapport with him and the company, start calling him young man, after he calls you young lady, while others are there to hear it. It's just the way some people talk and they probably don't mean anything by it. Being permanently offended is not cool and truly a dick move. Unfortunately, the answer is yes. Maybe you could politely remind your boss of yours? Like I've said in other comments, if me being a (relatively) young woman means he can call me young lady then why is it rude for me to call him old man? Of course, its still your prerogative to say, Hey, could you not call me kiddo because Id like to be taken seriously around here, but if you already are being taken seriously, then Im just not sure its worth caring about. She should say it with same attitude as Jack Sparrow! Somehow mother makes it seem so much more wierd My friends definitely call each other "Mom-of-night" or "Dad-of-the-group" when they are taking charge and making sure people don't forget stuff though so maybe that was the intent? Thank you, Alison! People are entitled not to like commonplace sayings, but it makes no sense to give other people grief for using it. (Not a lawyer but a fuckton of hr training). You guys is the yall of the north. I dunno I get called young man all the time and I'm 29. Some of them much older and still dealing with this shit. As a guy I love being called young anything. I'm 33 and I myself consider many women in their late twenties as young. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I accidentally insulted my boss's daughter. to be offensive when directed at you that someone else at work could see these as sexual harassment based on them creating a hostile work environment Your inclination to never use them in a work setting seems spot on. I think it is if your coworkers/supervisors say it. If someone is unhappy about it, they should be able to ask for that person to stop. Its condescending and insulting. I still don't do it. PS Im no where near the American South (have dealt with ageist crap in the Northern US, and in Canada in rural and urban areas in multiple provinces, across thousand of miles. Perhaps it's not meant as any statement about you, but is simply an older way of speaking. Were I the offending person, and I now fear I may have been, I would want you to calmly during a one-on-one conversation tell me that you are concerned that others might not feel I am taking you seriously because I refer to you as kiddo. My daughter is constantly being called little girl. She is 22 and has been receiving accolades at work. The other one was a temporary manager, sent in to fix our department. I try not to get into too many fights with senior management, I'm one foot out the door with this job already, and this industry is too small and far too much of a boys club for me to piss too many people off with my raging feminism. to me, a university educated teacher I would be a very rich man. Dont want your fn terms of endearment. Im one of 100 Inspiring Women making positive change around the world. It's one thing hearing something like that from an ignorant passenger who doesn't know me, it's another hearing it from my employer. Not everything that rubs someone slightly the wrong way has to be made into an Issue. There are some older guys at work who call me that, but none are my boss and none refer to me by a nickname while in a conversation about business. Please, for the sake of making this better, don't fume if it happens again. Women are always infantilized as a way to dismiss our knowledge and skill. But you're nowhere near the first person to hate it, so I think I'm going to shift to "friend" regardless of familiarity. From then on we were only allowed to use formal titles in the meeting, referring to others as Councillor Surname only. I prefer to be called by my name rather than granny; just because an offspring chose to multiply doesnt give the grandchild the right to use granny as I find THAT disrespectful in the tone it gets used. I've been called young lady very few times in my life, when I hear it it rings alarms. Ive read other articles where people say they dont mind these terms, most of them are men, and if they dont thats fine. But getting them on their back foot is pretty great. Well He then called me into his . She was most recently yelled at and called little girl. She walked away before she blew up in return. And that makes it worth the conversation. There is a great book I read a few years ago called "So Good They Can't Ignore You", by Cal Newport. Is it possible that from his perspective you were, in that moment, a "young lady"? Get over it. I work for a family owned business. Yeah I can handle a certain amount of sexism, but it's just demoralizing some days, especially from my own employer. Be Unique. It's condescending as hell. Because African males can be more intimidating as a majority of the time their physical strength surpasses the average white man. The look on his face was priceless. Older people actually do use kiddo to mean people their same age. Let me give a little back story I had been at my job three-months when the abuse started. hi my husband has just been told someone has just made a complaint, about him calling someone a youngster, and if they put it in writing he can get into big trouble, is this true. No, I will not. I'm 27 too, my boss pretty much only refers to me as "young lady" or "young girl" and I 100% know he thinks its a compliment, but it turns my insides out every time. How old is the guy? Did not know that. Never. I dunno. Lots of white people do have hair like that, though. That sounds like such a combo! It is demeaning and self serving. So demeaning and faux-complimentarylike Im supposed to giggle and bat my eyelashes..I always tell the guy (its ALWAYS a guy) that unless hes 90 hes not allowed to call me a young lady. This will differ depending on what options are available for the item. If an older lady called me a "young lad", I wouldn't think twice about it. I wholeheartedly disagree with you on this subject. Quite a few people use terms of endearments. The federal Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) prohibits age discrimination against workers age 40 or over who work for employers with 20 or more employees. Basing your opinion on whether the boss is being dismissive on how he otherwise treats you and reacts to your work is excellent advice. Agreed! Sometimes its intended as a microaggression, especially if its constantly done. One has to be privileged to make a big deal out of this type of nonsense. To view or add a comment, sign in Many men think that sort of comment is a compliment, because as a woman we are supposed to fear aging more than death. I'm an adult with real problems and if someone addressed me as "young lady" at work, I'd be annoyed and find it super patronising. But you can go to him and be likecan i bring something up Key is dont let them become defensive. Ive had various bosses do it throughout the years, and whether they respect me or not, it grates. Ive been the only mechanic to bother looking for an obvious broken exhaust header on this plane, find it, get it done during a turn (when the other mechanic and two apprentices MAYBE could have had the cowling off working together by then), the plane isnt delayed, and I get a thanks young man from the Captain. If someone in my senior leadership called me 'young lady' I would rightfully correct them to address me by my rank. I find it pretty interesting, actually and assume others find it of interest, since its garnered 10+ comments in about two hours! I will try not to be so sensitive about it and just keep doing my best to produce good work. mi jefe me llam (3) More examples Want to Learn Spanish? I was once referred to as "that girl" by a client in an email thread I was on. Normally I have 0 hesitation making a move on a girl. You've not belittled someone, they get a slight experience of feeling like the big boss and you've just endeared yourself to that person. The infantilization of women in the workplace is a real thing and it needs to be addressed, young woman is never an appropriate way to address someone in a professional environment, regardless of race or age, and hopefully one day people will catch on to that. If your boss is a name-caller, it's important to develop a plan to deal with the behavior. I can imagine the insults to your colleagues if they dont like something and you think its stupid. Yet, I have been referred to by sweetie or kiddo. Take the compliment side of it, plain & simple, the kiss method of Keep It Simple- instead of becoming persnickety. You knows what she wants. A couple of village children ran away from her screaming that she was a ghost.. Though I hope youre not one of those types who also gets pissy whenever a guy holds the door open for you sheesh! I loathed it, and as soon as I was old enough I cut it all short. also this old guy called me a "nice young man" to my boss. Feeling a little old over here. She said all the ladies love it when I call them yl No they dont At the time I was 75 That was the end of her..new dentist. Similarly, I've heard older ladies say "young lady." Again, respectfully, not in that upbraiding tone many of us remember from our teenage years. I've had a few good bosses, but the big boss/owner/CEO etc. I (40F) just started dating (50M) after years of trauma How do i handle this phone issue? He just took all her hard work, dedication, and sacrifice in two short words. How to make this about you without saying its now about you. pushing back against ageismwhich affects everyone, Its great to see Peg Cruikshank blogging for the Silver Century Foundation alongside Margaret Gullette and me. Spanish learning for everyone. never heard of that what does it mean? I teach at a college. I've seen so may Caucasian women with fabulous wigs. So, what to do about the use of kiddo if it continues to bother you? They might as well just pat me on the head while theyre saying it. Did he have enough knowledge to be able to identify your rank by what you were wearing? It talks about how your skills are the most marketable thing, and you should seek marketable skills. I mean, agreed, but I'm trying to help with a solution rather than "suck it up". at work by an HR person. Haven't we grown past this argument? Its Captain, Sir! Id have said something like that to the old mf. In that case, it doesnt matter. I was 33 at the time. For more details, consult the EEOC.gov website and an attorney concentrating in employment law. Its really okay to simply say, May I help you?. Sometimes its just that updating your "register" of language can be tricky. I can't tell if it's a relatively polite way of hitting on me or patronizing me. I am male 42, i get called "young man" sometimes. I would HATE to have strangers touch my hair, especially without permission. Why? Clearly, anyone that doesn't have a tiny penis would have realized that. I don't know you or anything about you and I want to touch your hair. He'll know. " Edit - going to let this comment stand but upon reflection it's not really relevant due to the context. I am 74 and think it is beyond ridiculous to be called young lady. Nothing wrong with saying maam if you dont know my name. Ive cried the whole drive home. Friends When a girl who is your friend calls you babe, she may be giving you a hint that she is interested in moving your relationship forward. I'm a pilot too. But yknow some things can be offensive to women and not men and thats okay. According to Kotzin, the. Anyway just my two cents. I expected some major sexism due to my field of work (happens in California as well) and on top of that it being Texas (just from the stereotypes and stories I have heard), but I was still stunned into silence when a gentleman running a heavy machinery booth I was checking out said to me (apply thick texan accent): But men will react . I might be a little hurt or defensive at first, but, being an emotinoally stable adult, I would soon appreciate your candor and also appreciate that I was no longer accidentally insulting you. You are 27, don't you think you are still young? He's probably older I'm guessing. Im not sure why the texture of my hair is so concerning that men just want to touch it so badly. My co-worker that I think could be slightly younger than me called me "kiddo". Cool we disagree. How does one handle that. Also why poc are encouraged to relax our hair. I called her Y L back but she didnt stop. For free. Toots, Plus whole big sentences like Oh, MY DEAR HUNS, we have eaten our food, we did WELL with our FOOD, didnt we Sweetie and OH, my LOVE, what else can I call you but MY DEAR, SWEET OLD LOVE and OH NO DEAR, NO, YOU CANNOT WORK, NO DEAR LOVE, DEAR LADY TWO JOBS, NOOOOO, whyyyyyy, my LOVE?! If people want to call attention to my age or the fact that I the one female on an all male team of engineers, I welcome it. "Captain, Old Man", she said, "I will chop off both Jupiter and Saturn in a blink of an eye". My personal favourite is WE STILL HAVE OUR TEETH NOW DEAR, THAT SOOO GOOODDDDD HUNS, we have TEEETH so LUCKY to have TEEEEETH Some nicknames can be respectful, but most are not. What can I do? Context matters, and many people who say it are older and don't mean any harm, but when it comes to work, I trained myself not to call anyone "hun" or anything other than their name or title, because at work I was the supervisor and everyone was younger than me. Desperate . Hair touchers are the worst. But mostly its just used informally & affectionately, though it tends to be more common among older generations and mostly guys. I dodge and deathglare. Eta: The older I get, the more I realize that there are a lot of people who think that they must be incapable of racist/sexist behavior exactly because they do similar dipshitty things to different groups of people. Hearing "Fuh-leeeech!" lets me know that Mary Lou is around just as surely as a spirited "Meggo!" is sure to come from my college music theory professor. Tell me you have zero actual problems without telling me. It wont be long. Lol. (Not racial slurs, obviously, but this isnt anywhere approaching that. And also i reckon men would be more likely to ask a stranger African female to feel their hair vs a male. you are a 'young' lady if the person was older than you. Luckily, I dont have much interaction with him so its not worth bringing upbut I can understand how being called kiddo can make you feel like your professional life is being slightly undermined, whether intentional or not. Just as older than dirt is a term of endearment I call him from time to time. Forgot to add, if the OP is the only one being called kiddo, that *might* be ageist. Again, most people agree its her RIGHT to bring it up, but that doesnt mean that she NEEDS to. There are people who dont like nicknames whether its a generic nickname like kiddo or a variation of ones name (for example, a Thomas who doesnt like Tom or a Stephanie who doesnt like Steph). I mean unless youve touched lots of white peoples hair how would you know what the texture is like? Without more, probably not. The culprit is the doctrine of " employment at will ," which is the law of the land in the United States. I now work in an urban area that bills itself as equitable and sophisticated, and for the most part, that proves true. Good luck OP with whatever you decide to do. Having other avenues and becoming a highly skilled and specialized person will allow you that attitude, and people will show you more respect if you don't hold your tongue, I know you're probably scared of losing your cool job, but definitely talk back to people please. Love, I am truly fortunate to have a boyfriend like you who always makes me smile, pampers with gifts, understands me, cooks for me, and respects me. Totally understand! Me and my boss lady - YouTube 0:00 / 0:26 Me and my boss lady 93 baby batch No views 4 minutes ago .more .more Space: 1999 TV-PG England vs. Iran Highlights | 2022 FIFA World. But I am not really sure how to tell him politely that I do not wish to be referred to as kiddo and that, although I am his daughters age, I am actually a professional working for the company and would prefer to be treated as such. OP smelled a little sus. In complete fairness, I'm also a working professional your age and I hear male peers being called 'young man' quite often, especially by the older generations. You said it came from the president of your company, right? No I dont mean to be contrary, because I suspect youre right, and it was disrespectful. 2. Every asshole you yell at is hopefully one less person to harass someone who may not be able to speak up. Short and to the point without making me feel like Im about 100 years old. I need a more universal phrase that is less familial (friend), less gender specific (because feelings), and encompasses all groups of dudes, dudettes, etc without being accidentally derogatory like young/old. Im a 31 year old HR professional. can I keep my company truck to screw over my company, fired for a Halloween costume, and more, updates: boss wants to talk to my doctor, taking a job where the CEO is a dick, and more, interviewer asked how low I was willing to go on salary, will almost-floor-length hair hold me back professionally, and more, updates: I was promised summer hours but its frowned upon to use them, and more, updates: the birthday drama, the company swag that doesnt fit, and more, updates: the teenager who wanted to quit, the coworker pushing food, and more, update: I sent my boss a long, angry email but I turned out to be wrong, share your funniest office holiday stories, a drama-filled affair, coworker marks most of her emails as highly important, and more, updates: coworker refuses to share their screen, a nasty Glassdoor review with my title, and more, updates: Im the only one in the office, the fake alma mater, and more. Looks like explicit move to set the tone for supervisor investigating infraction by employee. Hiring as fast as they can train and none of that young lady weirdness going on there. For future interactions maybe channel Samantha Carter from Stargate. Again, many older people would not like to be called gramps which is an equally ageist term regardless of the intent behind the term. If the speaker is older than you theyre not gonna call you hey nag or hey you old bittie regardless of how justified it maybe. Keep up the good fight! I think Im weird, because Im so comfortable and bold, to the point that if a person asks for permission, I see it as a sign of trying to learn. Awkward if your name actually is Shirley though. I was in the military. "I would just . No, this isnt petty. Its about respect and if you respect someone, you should use the name that they prefer to be called. I know you have a highly respected reputation, and I dont believe that you intend to dis me. Should they suck it up as long as they dont actually stink? The owner of the company who is in his 70s calls me kiddo. Dude, its work. Interrupt them and say, Im on deadline so let me come by your office when Im at a better stopping point.. Some of them reflect the stage of my life in which I knew a person. 1. After everything that's how I'm seen?! Hey, I totally get you and also congrats on being so damn successful in your field! I also know that it could have taken time and effort to style it, and you don't want people messing it up. Think of the tone Homer uses when he grounds Lisa, and says "Go to your room young lady, and think about what you did.". It's like when you don't know anyone with tattoos and you meet someone with full sleeves for the first time. So I get a lot of older men calling in. I made a few in my hustling days. You're a fucking boss. Seriously, if this is your only problem at work you have to darn good. YESSS! "Little boy, I'm just going to fly that plane, since I'm the captain. I think that, within reason, its important to roll with the spirit of the thing. Whiny cry babies. read this and my first reaction was oh OP thats a bit of an over-reaction he is the president of the company then i realized wait youre a pilot captain! My power comes from deeper inside me, and being called young lady feels dismissive and condescending. Like you said, being young in certain professions comes with some stigma and some expected comments. Don't Call Me 'Young Lady' Texas is a state that still prides itself on its manners, a place where you still address people by "mister" or "miss" and reply to elders with a "sir" or "ma'am." Ruth Pennebaker recently found herself being called something else a moniker she doesn't like one bit. Ive had a white lady at work literally grab some of my hair and smell it, its bizarre. I can't even imagine what you'd have to go through your whole lives. If you have an earned rank or title, you can ask for that to be used instead. You know, going to work with daddy I wouldnt get snotty about it, but I would try to work out a way of saying something about it. I also read that you are worried about getting fired, and the reality is that often times things like this end up with the woman getting fired or moved around in the company as opposed to the mans behavior being addressed. This is great advice. I do agree with AAM though that its not too big a deal if hes not treating you like a kid overall. It's not something that should be used to address an adult woman in the workplace. If the relationship is friendly and respectful, then take it as a sign that youre liked and valued. And we get $240 each time we pass "Go" on the board, while male players get just $200. Don't worry - I'm the senior pilot here. lol Don't want to send the wrong impression. Being over 65, I look at the term of young lady, as a term of endearment, not disrespect. Im 34 and lead designer for our company, never ends, Ive just graduated from miss to maam. when you're sick, can you have someone else call your office on your behalf? I was coming at it from the perspective of 'maybe he doesn't realise how his words affect me, I should explain my preferences here'. Its condescending and gets my back up. Tap your wings and say. I get that all the time. My boss is my dad, so I give him some slack . If everyone was a kiddo, hun, or sport. But since thats not the case, then there really shouldnt be a reason for it. Your email address will not be published. It's like they skipped the week in kindergarten about keeping one's hands to oneself. Stop defending idiotic and childish behavior. I have the exact same hairstyle as my Caucasian coworker, the only difference is my hair is twisty, curly and confused. If there's anything I've learned from reddit, it's that way too many people have not learned to err on the side of not touching their coworkers. I hate being termed a girl and find that offensive, but I also realize the latest generation doesnt mind it. Look, I think most of us have agreed that its her prerogative to say something if she feels strongly about it. . Well I agree that I also prefer namecalling, but i interact with many older people on a daily basis and i get called young man a lot, and very seldom do I found it offensive. On the other hand, if I enjoy working with someone, I like the nickname game. So stop acting like a kid, and just roll with the punches or youll never get out alive. That's genuinely weird af. My boss calls me by a derogatory name. Shouldve called them old fart in return. "It's Captain PistachioMaru, sir.". You could be a princess or a CEO, you'd still be cosidered a young lady in the eyes of many, just as I am considered a young man to people in their 40s or so. Honestly, if you feel like he takes you seriously, hed probably be responsive if you politely told him that the kiddo thing bugs you sometimes. Thus shit dont matter. I find Absolutely sugartits to be particularly effective agains dudes. And you'll feel so silly practicing, but the payoff will feel so fantastic! Boss calls me young lady I'm 30 years old, my boss is in his 50s and he always calls me "young lady." I've felt he was attracted to me a few times, but the "young lady" thing is throwing me. You can be young and do great things, I mean what is wrong with being a young lady? how come yourecalling attention to my age?, dont like being called young lady I am 67 and proud of it. I dont throw it around unless someone calls me Mrs.I am unmarried, un-divorced, and own my name as my own. I've thought about that, but ultimately, I am lazy XD. Not that it's necessary. Our base has 10 pilots. 17. I work in IT in a call center. Wearing her aviator sunglasses she turns, with her cap she walks away, leaving him in a disbelief that next time she will strike to kill. Just because they're expected doesn't mean they're okay. I'd suggest something like "That's CAPTAIN
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